Sweetheart,

You came into my world the day I had my First Trimester's Business Mathematics Mid Term...I knew, Di would have the delivery anytime after 10am, but I was too stuck with "Cramer's Rule" to wish my only sister good luck, on one of the most pivotal days of her life...The same way I had so many engagements, that I couldn't go home and meet you...Hold you...Feel your little palm wrapped around my finger...Hear you cry and fuss my wits over you...I cannot describe how unfortunate I am...

You were born at 10.44 am on 26th August '09...The sky was clear, the sunshine warm, the birds flew unflurried, it was a perfect day...Well, almost...Actually sweetu, Louis Armstrong meant it when he'd sung "Its A Wonderful World", just that the parameters of "wonderful" have changed over the years...I dont mean to fluster you, maybe you'll grow up as sweet a person as both your parents are, and the world will seem wonderful, (parameters or not) in your chaste eyes...

When I first laid eyes on you (I had to wait three days though), I was reflective yet nonchalant, impressed yet indifferent, smiling yet tearful, there was just this mad rush of emotions at crossroads within me...U looked so small and vulnerable, your palm at your forehead, your eyes shut tight probably wishing you were still in the sombre snugness of your mother's womb...

My baby, you're my first and only nephew and there is and always will be an inexplicable love in my heart for you...What I regret is that my love may not be reciprocated...I dont blame you dear, its easier to fall in love with the ones whom you grow up with, your Mama, Papa, Gran'ma, your kindergarten teacher and probably the girl you sit next to in nursery...Not the aunt you'd meet once a year, when she finally keeps aside a weekend to meet you...

I remember a big brown teddy bear your Gran'ma had bought me from Delhi when I was a year old...I was so scared of it that I screeched the moment someone brought it near me...Over the next few years, I tore and tattered it and brutally threw out the sponge in it...But, even to this day, when I close my eyes and think of my childhood, my big brown teddy bear is what i see...I have a teddy bear for you too, my first gift...

Cutie pie, rest assured...Your life will be unperturbed, you shall have your mother sing you a lullaby at the end of each tiring day, and Papa shall take you to places and buy you toys, your Gran'ma will comfort you with a tale and candy, when you fall down and bruise your knee (she wont even tell Mama and Papa) and as for your Aunt...You can call her when Mama and Papa have scolded you over a broken jar and you're sulking, or when you make invisible friends and nobody believes, that they exist...You can call her when you need that Spiderman bag or the enormous bar of "Toblerone"...She may be far away but she's always next to you...You're whispered in her prayers, you're nestled in that tiny, pure corner of her tainted heart and her battered soul...Yes, you're right here with me...

I shall write to you again soon...

With all my love,

Your Aunt...